There was an old lady …

There was nothing ambiguous about tonight’s camping spot. The sign said no overnight stays, penalties apply!

So like all good law abiding…..

So anyway I decided I had no choice but to stop here, and waited until dark to set up my camp. I’ve set my tent up in the dark, in the wind and in the rain but not all at the same time.

The wind took to waterproof cover just as I was attaching it to the inner tent, turned it inside out and flicked it into the water pooling nearby. Pooling nearby should have been a clue. It turns out the concrete slab the picnic table is built on is some what uneven.and I’d chosen the side away from the pouring rain without realising it was a low point and water was rising.

So, I move the tent to the other side, the rain falling sideways side of the slab only to discover in the short time I was battling the tent the rain has bought sticks and rocks and mud to the very spot the tent needed to be. I’m no Princess and the Pea kind of girl so I set about brushing only the biggest rocks away and pick up a few of the newly arrived sticks. One was soft and sort of wriggly and MOVED so I threw the handful as hard as I could but also sort of let go in shock which meant the sticks rose in the air above me, hung in the air a moment and rained down on me, causing me to dance a most ungraceful dance and swear a blue streak.

Fortunately the wind has carried my tent about 15 feet away so I have plenty of time to calm down before having to return to the place (now known as the home of a thousand pythons) and set the tent down and secure it.

I put Dexter, my bedding, Dexter’s pillow and a few other bits and pieces in the tent then check that the buggy is closed up and covered. Righto, into bed. To discover a rather large spider crawing on my arm. I thrash and kick like a drowning person, make a slapping noise on my arm, which sets my pacifist dog Dexter barking and growling…at me!

Out in the rain again, I open the double secured buggy, grab the heavy duty bug spray, entirely fumigate the tent while holding an unhappy dog.

Secure the buggy, place the still dry dog back in the tent, grab the torch to check for any survivors in the tent and climb back in. To sleep…perchance to dream…
%×÷% Realising yet again I have forgotten to take my night time meds on account of skipping dinner I once again go to the secured buggy, untie my way in, grab my pills, toss them down with some water and tie the buggy back up. I did some pretty bows this time thinking maybe I’m losing a few more marbles but hey, bows are pretty.

About to climb into bed again when a truck driver wanders over to shoot the breeze, or maybe to see who was minutes earlier dancing and shrieking like a banshee.

Trucker (Paul) heads back to his home on wheels and I open the tent, climbing in gingerly so that I don’t put wet feet on my bedding. Dexter, the darling protector, shoots out of the tent, barks at the Trucker saying what I can only imagine is “..and don’t come back!” then runs back to the open door of the tent, runs over everything until all the mud is off his feet, has a shake, then rubs his face on my pillow.

His pillow, being the only thing not wet and muddy, seems to be the best option to lay my weary head on so I reach down and grab it. The earlier spider’s grandfather marched up my arm and I think shook about three fists at me.

So now you know why there is an old lady sitting in the middle of a picnic table, in the pouring rain looking wide awake but seemingly oblivious to everything except the burning mozzie coils around her and the can of insect spray in her hand. Not to kill the spider mind you, he’s much too big. He would wrestle the can out of my hand and beat me with it. The can is the only thing I could reach that I can throw at that snake… i know he’s watching and waiting.

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  • Kathryn says:

    ROFLMBO!!!!! Oh thank you for this post…………. it has me in stitches. Reminds me of some of my posts on my camping adventures while traveling Australia!!

One Woman Wandering